Learn You Inside Out
by ladyreapermc
Summary: Companion piece for Not Afraid to Die. JJ has some questions to ask Hotch.


**Author's Note:** Companion piece to Not Afraid to Die. I quite like this universe. It's pretty interesting if I say so myself. I wish I had more time to work on it a little more.**  
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English isn't my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes, alright?

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"_**Immortality - a fate worse than death." Edgar A. Shoaff **_

_This isn't a date! _JJ reminded herself. It didn't matter if they were sitting alone in one of the most expensive Italian restaurants in town, drinking wine at candle light and listening to the soft tune of violins. This wasn't a date. She was here for a reason.

After they had been rescued from that dungeon two weeks ago, they hadn't really had the time to talk properly. Too much work, too many coworkers around, but Hotch had promised to answer all of her questions, so when they had a little time between cases, she suggested they'd go out for dinner to talk. He chose the restaurant.

He hadn't said a word about the subject she was mostly interested in since they arrived. Instead, he inquired her about Henry and Will (Henry was fine, Will too, as far as she knew. He hasn't been very forthcoming with her since they split up). She answered his questions a little distractedly, her focus entirely on him. The truth was that JJ was completely fascinated by the man before her. Suddenly, a lot of things about Hotch made sense; it was like she was seeing him in a new light.

"So…" Hotch started, taking a long gulp of his wine. "What do you want to know?"

JJ thought for a moment, toying with her wine glass. There were just so many questions. "How did it happen?" She finally settled with. Hotch sighed, running a hand over his hair. It was a gesture she wasn't used to see.

"The specifics of it I don't really know. After a while, memories go blurry around the edges, like a too old photograph," he sighed again. "I'm pretty sure I was in a war when it happened. I remember smelling blood, smoke, burned flesh and decay. I know I died, not sure how though, and after a while – a day maybe? – I woke up. It was an age of superstition, so some thought I was possessed, others that I was involved with witchcraft, either way, they didn't want me around, so I left and started to travel. I died a couple times more before realizing what I was."

He paused his tale when the waitress approached to take their order. JJ chose the first thing she saw and returned her attention back to Hotch. She was completely enthralled by his narrative. Hotch placed his order and waited the young girl walk away before returning his gaze at his blonde companion, waiting patiently for the next question.

"How old are you?" Hotch chuckled at that. They all asked that question.

"Six hundred years old, give it or take. Maybe a little more. It's hard to keep track after a while."

"You don't age then?" She asked curiously. He didn't look more than forty.

"I age, but very slowly."

There was a lull in the conversation as JJ processed all these new information. They orders came and they ate in silence. Once in a while, she would sneak a peek at him, a bit awed by him; sometimes he would catch her staring and give her a small, uncomfortable smile, as if he wasn't too thrilled at being in the spot light.

Afterwards, Hotch paid for dinner – refusing her offer to pay half – and they walked side by side through the park across the restaurant, enjoying the clear night sky and the warm August air. JJ glanced sideways at him, considering her next question. It was a delicate one.

"Did… did Haley know?" As soon as she finished, Hotch tensed visibly and his expression closed off. JJ regretted the question instantaneously, but she couldn't take away anymore.

"No, she didn't." He had taken so long to answer that for a moment, she thought he wouldn't. "I kept postponing it and then she left me so I didn't see why bring it up. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to tell Jack though. It's never easy when your kid gets older and notices you don't."

"You've been through this before?" JJ asked, surprised and Hotch nodded.

"Remember Sean?"

"Your brother?" She asked confused and Hotch just smiled meaningfully. "Oh!" Her eyes widened in realization. "He's not your brother."

"No."

There was another lull in the conversation as JJ wondered how hard it must be for Hotch to watch those he love age, knowing he never will. Her heart tightened in sorrow at the prospect and instinctively, she reached over and took his hand, squeezing slightly. He was startled for a second, but once he caught the look in her eyes, he just offered a tiny smile and squeezed her hand back in thanks. After a moment's consideration, JJ decided not to let go. Hotch didn't either.

xxx

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Disclaimer: No, not mine, but it's always on my Christmas list, maybe someday...


End file.
